1. All around us we find do-gooders whose desire to please all results in their being used by others, because self-talk of these do-gooders makes them feel guilty if they don't sacrifice themselves in order to be good to others, whereas it leaves them with a feeling of bitterness when their goodness is not acknowledged or when others make use of them.
2. Interestingly, self-talk can reinforce such self-negating behaviour when they are accompanied by innane compliments from others, and it is important to see through them as it will make us aware that an attitude of pleasing others or being good to them is unhealthy if we do it at the expense of our happiness.
3. As an unhappy person cannot reasonably dispense happiness to others, you could then change your self-talk to tell yourself that you need to consider your own needs as much as the pther person's, that when you decide to please someone else, you'll do it not at the expense of your needs and feelings, but by keeping the needs of both in mind.
4. It is important to remember that one's own feelings are as important as those of other people, and that we cannot find happiness by denying our feelings.
5. Do-gooders can make a beginning by politely refusing to do things which they don't enjoy doing, but which they normally end up accepting in order to keep up their image as do-gooders.
2. Interestingly, self-talk can reinforce such self-negating behaviour when they are accompanied by innane compliments from others, and it is important to see through them as it will make us aware that an attitude of pleasing others or being good to them is unhealthy if we do it at the expense of our happiness.
3. As an unhappy person cannot reasonably dispense happiness to others, you could then change your self-talk to tell yourself that you need to consider your own needs as much as the pther person's, that when you decide to please someone else, you'll do it not at the expense of your needs and feelings, but by keeping the needs of both in mind.
4. It is important to remember that one's own feelings are as important as those of other people, and that we cannot find happiness by denying our feelings.
5. Do-gooders can make a beginning by politely refusing to do things which they don't enjoy doing, but which they normally end up accepting in order to keep up their image as do-gooders.