1. Most of us want things to go our way always, which is why we react with unreasonable anger when this doesn't happen, and in the bargain, we pile up a lot of stress and tension for ourselves.
2. People often irritate us because they do not behave as we would like them to, and we feel frustrated about our inability to control them, but by accepting a simple fact of life, that the world does not dance to our tune, we could choose not to get irritated.
3. The real problem is not that others try to irritate us by seeking to control or provoke us, but that we choose to react with irritation, which really is not in our interests.
4. Instead of being reactive, we could choose any number of initiatives to deal effectively with the problem - including telling the other person where to get off, or choosing not to react or even avoiding the person - and since the choice would be very much our own, it would be devoid of the emotional overload asscociated with conditioned responses.
5. People do not irritate us - we irritate ourselves either by being reactive, or because of a perceived failure to control the world, or because we are not really in charge of ourselves - and so when others do not respond the way we want them, we should take a good look at ourselves.
6. If you feel controlled and manipulated, then tell yourself you will do what is right and not be led by the whims, strategies and manipulations of others, by looking inwards for value judgements, and our sense of self-worth will automatically deny others the power which they wielded over us.
7. Other people control your behaviour because you allow them to, but when you take charge of your life, you are not unduly affected by the praise or disapproval of people around you, because you are guided by a core of values and standards of excellence which you have set for yourself.
8. Far too many people are easily swayed by group think and the crowd instinct, as popular sentiments are easily manipulated being a universal psychological fact, so it is important to be able to do your own thinking and take your own decisions in order to keep yourself from being manipulated.
9. Impatience with others can be a form of control, and excessive and irrational impatience is a kind of power game intended to give the other person short shrift, but true concern for another person calls for patience and encouraging the other to come up with initiatives, and this reflects a greater sense of maturity besides protecting you from being rushed by other people and their imperatives.
10. Respecting another person's independent growth reinforces the commitment to one's own growth and also alerts you to the danger of being controlled, however insidiously, by the most well-meaning friend or well-wisher.
11. Even those of us who are laid back can find ourselves under considerable internal pressure, and people with closed paradigms in particular feel a compulsive urge to keep themselves in check, to follow a particular regime, etc.
12. Tey become compulsive disciplinarians - they want others to conform to their patterns of behaviour - and when this doesn't happen, the pressure builds into stressful and tiring tension, besides making one's behaviour totally predictable.
13. Watching the control mechanism at work inside us can lead to significant initiatives for letting go, for accepting dissappointments and truances from others, and from easing the pressure on oneself by rsisting the urge to judge and to generalise.
2. People often irritate us because they do not behave as we would like them to, and we feel frustrated about our inability to control them, but by accepting a simple fact of life, that the world does not dance to our tune, we could choose not to get irritated.
3. The real problem is not that others try to irritate us by seeking to control or provoke us, but that we choose to react with irritation, which really is not in our interests.
4. Instead of being reactive, we could choose any number of initiatives to deal effectively with the problem - including telling the other person where to get off, or choosing not to react or even avoiding the person - and since the choice would be very much our own, it would be devoid of the emotional overload asscociated with conditioned responses.
5. People do not irritate us - we irritate ourselves either by being reactive, or because of a perceived failure to control the world, or because we are not really in charge of ourselves - and so when others do not respond the way we want them, we should take a good look at ourselves.
6. If you feel controlled and manipulated, then tell yourself you will do what is right and not be led by the whims, strategies and manipulations of others, by looking inwards for value judgements, and our sense of self-worth will automatically deny others the power which they wielded over us.
7. Other people control your behaviour because you allow them to, but when you take charge of your life, you are not unduly affected by the praise or disapproval of people around you, because you are guided by a core of values and standards of excellence which you have set for yourself.
8. Far too many people are easily swayed by group think and the crowd instinct, as popular sentiments are easily manipulated being a universal psychological fact, so it is important to be able to do your own thinking and take your own decisions in order to keep yourself from being manipulated.
9. Impatience with others can be a form of control, and excessive and irrational impatience is a kind of power game intended to give the other person short shrift, but true concern for another person calls for patience and encouraging the other to come up with initiatives, and this reflects a greater sense of maturity besides protecting you from being rushed by other people and their imperatives.
10. Respecting another person's independent growth reinforces the commitment to one's own growth and also alerts you to the danger of being controlled, however insidiously, by the most well-meaning friend or well-wisher.
11. Even those of us who are laid back can find ourselves under considerable internal pressure, and people with closed paradigms in particular feel a compulsive urge to keep themselves in check, to follow a particular regime, etc.
12. Tey become compulsive disciplinarians - they want others to conform to their patterns of behaviour - and when this doesn't happen, the pressure builds into stressful and tiring tension, besides making one's behaviour totally predictable.
13. Watching the control mechanism at work inside us can lead to significant initiatives for letting go, for accepting dissappointments and truances from others, and from easing the pressure on oneself by rsisting the urge to judge and to generalise.